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How To Be Your Own Therapist


By Lois G

Board Certified Holistic Health Counselor & Practitioner


For years, I have helped people find the peace that they have been seeking by assisting my clients connect the dots to the root causes of their emotional issues which always lead to physical problems!  Clients always tell me how amazing they feel after one session of helping them see the connection to an event or events that usually have happened under the age of 12. 

I have helped people that are angry at someone to realize it’s associated with an event at a much younger age. People have transformed their lives realizing they are upset with a death only to understand that they wanted or felt they needed something from the person that left this world.  Once they understand that who they are is enough and everything is perfection, they are then able to move past the loss.

The same logic applies regarding relationships.  I have been called by a number of clients telling me about their date and asking me do you think they liked me?  My initial response is “Who Cares!!”  I tell them your question should be, “Do you like them?”  “Do you think this person can support who you are and encourage you to grow?”  If not, you’re DONE!!!  If possible, pursue until you are perfectly clear which way to go.  Never fit into someone else’s mold.  Can the two of you fit into each other’s mold and support each other?  If so, give it a shot! Nothing to lose but clarity.

I want to be clear that if you feel you need a therapist, please seek help!!  This article is to help with self-reflection and trying to help you find connections with one’s issues to see them through a new pair of eyes.  I believe everyone needs a therapist at some points throughout their life time!!

How do you become your own therapist?  Ask yourself these questions and I am also providing a scenario response.

Anger or Any Emotion

Why am I angry?

He makes me mad!

Why does he make me mad?

He makes me feel less than!

Why or how does he make me feel less than?

I don’t like how he makes fun of me!

 What has he said or done to make fun of me?

He always mentions how my clothes are too tight and he wants me to have long hair.

Did anyone criticize me as a child?

My mom criticized me.

What do I recall Mom saying or doing regarding criticism?

 She told me I ate more than my brothers and my dress wouldn’t fit me on Saturday for an event.

How did that make me feel regarding Mom saying that?

It made me feel that my Mom was disappointed in me and I couldn’t do anything right.

Did my Mom ever compliment me?

Yes, when I brought home good grades and cleaned my room.

What am I good at today in my opinion?

I’m very organized and a responsible person.

Which is more important to me?  Being Organized and Responsible or My Clothes and Hair?

Being responsible!

Are my hair and clothes choices fixable and flexible if I choose them to be?

Yes!  I like being responsible so I will take that, and I can choose to change anything that I don’t like about myself.  It’s my choice.  My hair reflects who I choose to project to the world not who someone else wants me to be.  I will do what makes me smile and if people in my life can’t smile with me, then I will go find the people who do!!

How many times did he say something to you about your hair and clothes?


Did I blow out of proportion those 2 times that he said something?

Now that I think about it – probably!  And I probably wear things to be criticized for because I am used to it and doing it subconsciously because, perhaps, I am used to negative attention.  I am going to reevaluate everything that I wear and my hair to make sure it’s what I want and not being a puppet to anyone else that has impacted my life!!

Each week, I will be providing new scenarios and situations to help you BE THY OWN THERAPIST!!  If you have one that you are struggling with, please let me know.  Don’t forget that CBD oil through BTOP can change your moods as well!!